for the umbrella. My very first thought was “am I the God who’s raining the rain? I was bewildered. Eventually I just resorted to “whoever doesn’t get beaten by either rain or sunshine will be beaten by poverty” and I walked out. Let’s just say up till today, as in June, first of its name, the month of rain and beginning of the nine-month goodness, I still don’t have an umbrella.
This brings me to a list of types of people during a rainfall
A. UMBRELLA!!
These ones either by skill, God given talent or sheer dedication always find themselves with umbrella whenever it rains. These are upright people, I guess so I doubt they would have stolen it, moreover if some people did not bring umbrella, there would be nothing to steal, so they are no figment of imagination, they are real and they dwell amongst us, humans. These people are usually female and they are the ones with extra pad, shower cap, umbrella, etc. not that it is wrong but sometimes allow yourself to forget something, bad behaviour right? Well, for some of us its normal everyday behavior. Funny part, they never forget it where they sit, very articulate people I tell you. Sometimes they also tend to be the over sabi in class and when they’re going, they’ll still on umbrella on bike or fight cab driver for not allowing them enter and fold their umbrellas well before moving.
UMBRELLA?
These set, bottom line do not have umbrellas handy whenever it rains. Some get really frantic and beat themselves up for it, some others just don’t care because they know they don’t even own one, moreover umbrella is the smallest of their problems while some others form as though they brought the umbrella and it miraculously vanished at the nick of time just when they needed it most and then there are people like me, we count it as fate after all, ‘God has willed it’.
These type are the ones we’re talking about today. They are:
THE ATTACHÉ
These ones don’t understand either the physics, chemistry, math or simple logic in that this umbrella was made for one person, they still find a way of saying, ‘if you move like this, it will contain us’. Very selfish people who diligently ensure that both the owner and borrower i.e. them, gets soaked, the owner more than the borrower.
THOR
These people are downright aggressive and are part of the ‘it’s not far gang’, they don’t run from rain in fact they’ll tell you ‘when I’m not salt’. They’ll brave it and walk briskly in the rain. They also usually wear all those shoes like the one Abraham travelled with. When it eventually gets tough, they are the ones you find under filling station or corn seller’s umbrella.
OH GOD!
These people always have a reason to complain. They are the ones who have clothes they have spread or they want to spread, they have work the next day as if the rest of us will sleep at home, they have one thing or the other the rain has deprived them of as if it’s convenient for the remaining of us and the keep buzzing like bees boring everyone around them including the thors seeking refuge with them under the same filling station.
LAZY AND UNEMPLOYED
We all know unemployment plagues Nigeria but the hardworking ones still hustle. These people don’t hustle, they just sleep and await manna. They are the ones that will post, ‘weather for two’ with one yeye 18+ picture like that on Facebook free mode. Eventually, they are the ones that impregnate on first try, well, what can we say? Wehdone Sir
AWON T’ABACHA
Whether legitimately or fraudulently, these ones don’t know when its raining or more specifically they don’t feel it. I mean from chauffeured well air-conditioned car to remote controlled gate, paneled floors and a host of staff both at home and at work, they are the ‘when you’re made, you’re made’.
This is a list for those of us without cars, there will be another list for the types of drivers in the rain.
Thank you so much for reading and constantly following this blog. We love you and God loves you more.
Love,
❤
OMO AYAN.
Nice one Elvis😂
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