THE MICRA CHRONICLES FINAL PART

By the time I got to the roundabout, I found the driver that said he wasn’t going to zenith Dugbe calling Dugbe and in fact carrying a passenger going towards the same place then I walked up to him, confronted him and then got back into the death trap with the hope of getting my 20 naira back, the ride was 50 naira so all I had  to do was give him 30 naira and I would cut 150 bike cost, even though I was unhappy about sitting in front but that was a  little price to pay yeah? Well, that’s what I thought.
The ride started with him competing for road with bike men but that didn’t really matter. We also ran into hold up because of unsolicited political rallies and the struggle to get t-shirts or something ridiculous like that. Eventually, we were almost at our last stop, I was already ready to come down already thanking God for his grace when this man decided to take his game a notch higher and compete for the road with a trailer who also apparently had no chill and would crush him (and by implication us) for less. The man who didn’t heed warning from fate not to enter the car that time almost climbed out of the car because it was his side that was to be mostly affected. I never felt as claustrophobic in a car until I realized it was as much a death trap as an elevator. The man and the one in the middle were already climbing into the other one’s lap in a futile attempt to escape their apparent impending doom, I never thought sitting in front was a better fate or even blessing than at that time. Eventually, he swerved back to his lane without problem maybe because people already gave both of them distance so it was quite easy. He started insulting the Hausa driver of the trailer but everyone else in the car was just quiet, the aftershocks settling in as we just escaped death within Ibadan and barely a minute before the ride would have ended. I didn’t even want zenith again I just told him owa o!! But the idiot kept going. After soft spoken words of disagreement (I couldn’t fight, not after that near death experience) he finally stopped and I came down with shaky legs.
Whew!! What a day! Well, to sweeten the day, I met one fine guy in an even finer car. Well, technically we didn’t meet but I saw him that’s all that matters.

Please exercise your franchise tomorrow and vote.

This was pre-written. It is however a sad time. This is to the fallen star, we love you but God loves you more. You put smiles on our faces and joy in our heart, you  lived a young and impactful life, we miss you. Rest in the bossom of our Lord where rest is guaranteed.

Love,

OMO AYAN

❤

THE MICRA CHRONICLES PT 3

The ride was quite uneventful until we got a little further and the car started jerking. I’m not talking about small jerk o, it’s all these I-think-I’m-going-fall-off jerks and everybody told him to park in horror stricken tones. Eventually he sha parked and opened the bonnet to touch only God knows what. By the time he came back into the car to start it, the passengers were restive especially people like me who had been in the car since the beginning of the ride, I was just wondering, ‘have I not entered the wrong car like this?’ thank God for the blood of Jesus saving lives since eternity. Blood of Jesus save me (I’m allowed to be selfish in this case). After a couple of minutes, the car started and one ‘stray man’ that has been watching the exchange decided to complete the number of passengers. Edakun why is it that people don’t learn and continuously make bad decisions? Well someone once said history has thought man that man learns nothing from history or something like that you sha get the drift. It was as if he didn’t notice or worse still hear the colourful language polluting the environment emanating from the car, I mean is it the rugged appearance of the car or the sinister looking driver or even the jerky movements of the car? There were so many reasons to not board the vehicle when it was not like they were going to reduce the price for you. In short, he entered the car, and he wasn’t even going to Mokola, a close place he was in for the long haul, Dugbe.

Meanwhile, my bum was already itching. ‘Is Mokola this far?’ I couldn’t wait. We rounded the corner and was almost involved in an accident with a fine car that was coming from the intersection. That sparked the silence in the vehicle each passenger calculating escape mechanism. We also narrowly escaped another one from one of those hitch hike cars aka oko agbegilodo. You know those road ‘unworthy’ (which is even an understatement for those cars) cars that are mainly for carrying planks but give rides to people early in the morning, well, Let me tell you how it happened. The man was descending the hill somewhere in Mokola with the planks fully stacked on top of the car when he swerved to avoid the oncoming military vehicle which he tried to outsmart. Thank God it happened just after we had passed so we escaped. At last we got to Mokola where I decided enough was enough, so I gave the driver 500 naira and asked for my change. That was where all hell broke loose. He said he didn’t have change moreover I didn’t tell him, everybody came to my aid by stating that I told him from the onset when he said it didn’t matter even if I did, that was where my trouble started, even he was surprised at my outburst. In short, everything before then was almost nothing compared to my ‘madness’. Eventually, he gave me 400 naira a whole 20 naira short of my change but even I knew I had already wrecked enough damage. I caused a scene and went from slay mama to omo shepeteri in a flash. I proceeded to take a bike from that filling station but started trekking towards the roundabout and cross the road even though I hated crossing that road or any road whatsoever, what prompted me was the bike man that hiked the price and then had the guts to ask if I didn’t want to pay any money at all when I wanted to price it down unknown to him my shaku shaku people had not ended, I gave him and walked away still boiling so much that some people allowed me passage but I couldn’t find it in me to care.
Crossing the road was another hassle especially with the crazy people that should be in mental hospitals but have somehow got their hands on a driver’s license and a car. So I continued my journey.

I'm so sorry for the late update, the week has been hectic especially with the elections and all so this is a double update.

Love,
OMO AYAN
❤

THE MICRA CHRONICLES PT 2

The stubborn driver decided to keep moving against her wishes which caused her to hit him repeatedly on the shoulder asking him if he was deaf. ‘What is your problem?’ followed by a lot of colourful words from both sides. It was beginning to seem like a bad break up reality show in the car, well that was, until the other passengers decided to join in the drama. I know it sounds unbelievable but I was silent through it all, I guess I was bidding my time. Eventually, he stopped at that fine estate (aerodrome aka Ibadan Lekki). She got down although it took her quite a while and the fact that she didn’t even stop cursing the driver didn’t help. The driver was also disgruntled as the only passenger he got at that stage was only going to Sango and mehn was he fast or what? Compared to the woman that had just come down, he was very fast. While I was still trying to see how to tell small but mighty that I wanted to go to the back, he flew in. whew!! There goes my plan. I kuku just stayed there. Eventually,  the mere 30 naira ride passenger, in fact he would have priced it to 20 naira but it didn’t seem like he was in the mood just squeezed himself in and looked forward not to be bothered by whatever discussion was hot in the car. He looked like the red bird in angry bird, the only thing left was the steam coming from his ears. The women almost tried talking to him but decided against it, it was a good decision by the way.
So, we continued our journey hoping for the best. By the time we got to the police station side, the driver parked and told both passengers going to Sango to come down, so he’ll pick more passengers after the turn. Aunty small buy mighty came down without struggle but Mr. angry bird said his thirty naira has not yet expired and that until he gets to the turn, he will not come down. You know that moment when you’ve been having a bad day and it doesn’t matter what anyone says they are just going to make it worse. Apparently angry bird was having one of those days where nothing seems to work. The driver’s rant aggravated his condition and thus started the fight. So many colourful words were exchanged and the man refused to come down until after the turn. When the driver could not prevail, he sha drove him to the petrol station cum park. Surprisingly when he alighted, he trekked back to the spot the driver would have originally dropped him and then made his way towards his destination, this further angered the driver and so he started cursing the man all over again. As soon as the man heard it, he also came back to give the driver a piece of his mind. This argument had escalated and the other cab drivers and okada riders (why don’t they call them drivers too? Well…) had joined in. I saw an opportunity to switch seats and I took it, finally I was free or so I thought since the women supported the man especially based on their previous encounter on how cab drivers are worse than politicians and only exploit people. After they pleaded with the passenger and he left, the man complained of how it was the worst batch of passengers ever in his cab driving career.
The women at this time also started complaining of how he was delaying them and making their journey longer. He started calling passengers so we could continue our journey. Eventually he found another woman and hiked prices (apparently he was tired of having women in his car), the woman also gave up and entered another taxi right in his presence, this apparently hit him deeper than he let on because he carried the next passenger without delay or gender consideration, we were ready to move, just two passengers remaining. We were now three women and one man. Another man joined shortly and the ride started. Not long after when we got to the filling station near feed well supermarket, the other man asked if he was going to oke padi, the man slammed brakes as if we were in fast and furious: the apocalypse and told the man to get down that he was not going his way. The man then asked where the cab was going, where else would the cab go? I mean isn’t it the passenger who says where he’s going and not the other way around. At this point the driver was really mad and started screaming, talking, ranting and sped off even before the door was shut, oomph! This ride has been eventful to say the least and it has not even ended.


This is the second update as promised. Thank you so much people.
❤
OMO AYAN

THE MICRA CHRONICLES PT 1

A tale of a unique journey, 10 passengers, 1 driver, 20 minutes right in the heart of Ibadan.
Ibadan micras and speed have become a serious problem, in fact they are now worse than okada men. Well, that’s not why we’re here. This particular ride was from UI to Dugbe. After almost getting hit by micra and keke while crossing to catch the cab, I had to do a quick evaluation to see which cab to take. One had two men already seated, another only had space in the front with two women and a man at the back and the third, let’s just say was looking too fishy. I eventually settled for the front seat and thank God I entered in one piece.
Before I entered I asked, how much and he said 100 naira so I asked him if he had change for 500 naira, I was being a godchild I mean… at first the man was insistent on taking only people going to Dugbe which caused the women already seated to threaten to come down alongside the man who already joined a ‘so le’ cab since he didn’t tell them before, he sha mumbled some things and agreed, luckily, a third woman joined almost immediately (if not I would have switched seats, it was so fast especially for someone her size, I’m not body shaming but how did she do that?) and all that did was to open the floodgates of discussion among the women including the newcomer, they all formed an alliance against ‘the taxi man and his extortionist kind’. At the beginning of this discussion, the driver felt so uncomfortable in his own car and so decided to sit on the window (or what do they call that space in the car) and call for passengers. Since he already left a sour taste in the women’s mouth, they started complaining about how the sun was brutally hitting their skins at the wrong angles, thank God they spoke, that sun was at its highest for sure. Even I felt it, even though I was sitting on the gear after paying 100 naira but what could I have done? Until my Ferrari comes, I have to make do with this.

The man sha started complaining as to how they didn’t want him to make sales and that if anyone prevented his success(as if) they would not also prosper, that’s how the women started sharing very colourful passive curses, me I kuku kept quiet just saying God forbid in my mind. I’m sure the driver at that point saw me as the only reasonable passenger, well that didn’t last long. The women have now changed their discussion to cheating husbands, a very important might I add while the third woman who seemed the biggest started receiving a call, at that time the driver started moving and stopped when someone waved him down around Maryam’s hostel. This aunty and uncle were talking you know all those broke bfs(hey I’m not judging just saying), this guy just looked so irresponsible like all those men who collect monthly allowance from their girlfriends but meh what do I know? She hurriedly waved down the taxi and shouted ‘Sango!!’ the guy said 50 naira and immediately she said 30 naira and the guy agreed. She entered.
Have you ever met any of those slim girls that you eventually discover to be fat inside? She was one of them. Immediately she settled herself I felt like I was going to fall off the car and I wasn’t even sitting next to the door. I was so unbalanced and the gear was not helping, Sango couldn’t come fast enough, well until the woman who was on the call shouted ‘owa o!’


Finally!!! I'm so sorry this is coming very late, infact it has been two weeks and I'm so sorry, things came up. The idea for this episodic update came from Bolu Tenabe Babalola (he has an amazing Christmas EP btw) so throughout this month 'The Micra Chronicles' will run. It's a double update today as an apology. Thank you so much for your support and understanding.

❤
OMO AYAN