OPEN DOORS

It's towards the end of the year and I'm sure most people are already praying for last minute open doors, I mean you all know all those let every gate be open prayers. My dears, today when I got back from church and I met the gate to my house open, it was no joke. I mean, I was already complaining about the heat and harmattan and everything but when I put my hand to open the gate and the gate was open,that feeling, not even heartbreak can compare. The first question I asked my sister was, "did you lock the gate?" Then she replied in the affirmative and then I proceeded to open the gate Just to show her that it was indeed open. At that point, everyone became deathly silent, you can cue in the Nollywood soundtrack now.
We now crept in slowly, lo and behold the iron bars were open too. Ghen ghen gbese o!! Since as you all know it's Christmas time, my mind went immediately to my little stash of cash that my uncles gave and I've been gathering. It has ended in tears o!!! My investment, the money I want to use to buy land or maybe a fine Mercedes or at the very worst, shawarma and data haff go o. Jesus take the wheel.
My other sister already brought out her phone ready to call for help, we were both searching for signs of forced entry while my sister made sure to conveniently stay behind the both of us while we entered the house, the first thing my sister checked was the television, because the last time, it was the tv o. I tried to look for any missing thing especially the chairs, and when I saw it there I thought maybe they didn't come with car. I was about to go check my little stash and count my losses while at the same time muttering "and my mind told me o" when I saw my mum cooking dutifully in the kitchen.
People of God, the relief I felt, words are not enough. Thank God o. Testimony time😂😂 but yeah that was what happened today. I was supposed to post a different update but this happened so I hope you enjoyed my afternoon.


Merry Christmas guys and a Happy New Year in advance.
I'm also going to be posting my business blog in the next update. Sorry for the delay in updates, I've been having a little ish with blogger, it keeps converting my pictures to links and I personally feel like it helps make the reading experience better but we rise ladies and gentlemen.
So to a new year,
Love
OMO AYAN
❤

LAUGHTER, TEARS AND GOOSEBUMPS

This is Fireboy’s album that was released on the 28th November, 2019 and permit me to say this is fire!!!!!!💥 some have said that it is the best debut album since Wizkid’s “Superstar” but me believing in the unrivaled uniqueness of everyone would simply say it is a great work which makes me wonder, what songs did fireboy listen to growing up that formed such great command of music? The album also captures raw emotions at various moments of every man's life which makes it so relatable.
The album is such that there’s something for everyone ranging from “gbas gbos” to “scatter”, etc. for the ones that came to vibe then “king”, “what if I say” and “wait and see” for the ones in between and “like I do” and “need you” for people like me.
I want to let you on a little secret, “need you” has been on repeat on my phone and I’ve used it for two videos already and counting.
I think it’s a sign that love❤ is on its way or should I say on his way to find me, you know😉? Yeah no, I think it's money💃, either way I’ll let you know how it goes.

Oh and since we're on music, you should totally check out Conor maynard's "elastic heart" cover and mash up with "love me like you do" and "uptown funk".

LOVE,
❤
OMO AYAN.

DIFFERENT TYPES OF TURN UP FRIENDS

Whenever you are invited to a party, you automatically know which friends you’re going with, well, I do and these are the different types of friends in the heat of the turn up:

1. THE HYPE MAN
He/she is the number one support system, what they do is that first, they ensure that you actually turn up and have a good time and most of all they make you feel like you’re on top of the world. They help create the best memories. THEY NEVER GET TIRED. They’re the realest.

2. TRANSFORMER
This group can also be called the shockers. They are the friends you see as gentle and you wonder why they’re coming with you. The reason they are tagged the transformers is because at the turn up, they change tremendously and you get to see them in a different light. They might eventually get to grind the artiste on stage and you’re just there dumbfounded.
3. HILLS AND VALLEYS
Their vibe fluctuates sometimes with their jam. All you notice is that, one minute they’re dancing and the next they’re drinking water.

4. MOUTH DANCERS
Anyone who meets them on a normal day would think them to be the turn up queens. They talk about how they will hang their home training and turn up without worries. They also know who doesn’t know the dance step but can’t do better. The fun thing about them tho is that they make us laugh.

5. THE I-CANNOT-COME-AND-KILL-MYSELF
These ones are moderate, will turn up when they can and sleep at home when they can’t. They also happen to be the voice of reason who ensure we get home safe so big ups to them.

unfortunately, I've been having problems uploading images to make the list fun and relatable so please bear with me, hopefully blogger will do something about it soon.
On one hand, I need a vacation where I can forget about everything, eat junk food in all its forms, eat strange foods, go to the spa, go to interesting places and do things I never thought I would(good things). Sorry, I won’t mind a baecation too.
And on another note, harmattan has refused to come o, global warming is real!!! Find out how you can help today.


Until next time,
LOVE
OMO AYAN.

YOUR BUSINESS IS MY BUSINESS

Sunday mornings were characterised by the sound of “Ekwueme” from the Bluetooth speakers, anyone who heard that would think would easily pick out Tosin as the firebrand in the room. All through the week, we go round Europe ranging from “Oceans where feet may fail” to “Reckless love”. A room that prays together stays together right, she calls for the morning and evening prayers every day in her room and always encourages the other roommates in the Lord. On Thursday, I came back early from class when I overheard her telling Chioma, one of her roommates about what Seyi another of her roommates said about her. At first, it felt harmless until I considered that Chioma was the troublemaker of the lot. Indeed, when they all came back from class after evening prayers, Chioma started the wahala and said someone told her what Seyi said in her absence and that if she had anything to say, to say it straight to her face, an argument ensued and everyone went to bed angry amidst pleas from Tosin to let peace reign. I hadn’t gone out all day so early on Friday after they had all gone for classes, I overheard Seyi telling Amina, another roommate that she knew for sure that it must have been Mary who told Chioma what she said and that she was misquoted and that was not even what she said. I was coming back to the hostel around 9pm and before you ask what I went out to do, I went to buy suya, I saw Aunty Tosin getting cozy with another guy other than the Broda Christopher who she told us was her boyfriend, who knows? Maybe she was preaching the gospel. Immediately I entered, I went to their room to “borrow” toilet key just at the same time when they were discussing the matter, I conveniently dropped hints of locking the room door and addressing the issue once and for all then I conveniently returned the key some minutes later. Now I have bought popcorn and I’m waiting for drama to start, all I know is that tomorrow, I will sleep well and no “Ekwueme” will wake me up. I apologise for being MIA, I'm back now and there will be more regular updates. Thanks for sticking with me. LOVE, OMO AYAN.

THE DAY I SHOULD HAVE STAYED HOME

Remember Tunde, the fine boy I told you about? Well, he invited me to the movies. A step forward right? Yup, I was so excited but truthfully, some lecturers are just kill joys. Imagine! She fixed a class for two o clock and I didn’t even get to see the message until a couple of minutes to two o clock and since I didn’t want to stab classes again as per good girl and she promised she wouldn’t use more than a couple of minutes just to brush up on some points and get us up to speed so I wore my Christmas cloth that I normally would have worn to the cinemas (if you know what I mean) to class with the hope that I would catch up with him latest by 3 at least we would be done or I would have signed attendance besides its not like any knowledge wants to enter my head but who knows? Life na lotto. Unfortunately, I dialed his number and he didn’t pick so I left him a WhatsApp chat about my current situation hoping he would be patient and then I’ll catch up with him later. Na so some minutes became ten, twenty, thirty minutes then that one did not pain me until it was fifty minutes after then one hour, ah! And she kept on saying ‘in conclusion” and “I’ll soon let you go now” giving us false hope every time. Eventually, after an hour and half she let us go. Honestly, I couldn’t have been happier, I quickly took a cab to the school gate then flew bike there before making my way to the ladies to touch up my make-up as per one must look peng and when I thought I was ready I stepped into the cinemas playing slow motion in my head and imagining my walk to be in slo-mo but all that stopped when I looked around and couldn’t find Tunde. At that moment, ‘nobody greater’ started playing, you know the ‘searched all over, couldn’t find nobody’ part. So I decided that I was going to get my ticket and kuku use that time to see a movie and I started making excuses for him in my head, maybe he misinterpreted my chat, maybe he just stepped out to use the toilet, "maybe he’s sick, omg let me call him!" but thank God I didn’t call him because nothing prepared me for what I saw. my guy was getting cozy with another babe, talk about heartbreak before it kuku began, "and another one bites the dust", I thought. So I bought myself a movie ticket which unfortunately happens to be the same one they would be seeing. Eventually, I managed to enter the cinema unscathed and pick a seat for myself at a vantage position where I could both see Tunde and also the movie. While I was going through the torture, a well dressed lady came and sat beside me. well, it's a free world right? The lady is a demon!! at first, she was pressing her phone in the cinemas and her phone was on outdoor backlight, I mean. Then later when she put it down and I thought God has delivered me from her, she started all those nonsense laughter to the scenes in the movie, I can still endure right? that was until she started talking to me about the movie and asking very annoying questions, I mean who comes to watch a sequel when you've not seen the first one? she asked so many questions to the point that she started asking me the future of the movie as if I wrote it then started making all those "what if?' comments. At this point, I was done and just made my way out of the cinemas. By whatever trick of fate, maybe he saw me oh or maybe it was a coincidence we'll never know 'cause I ran into Tunde and the tears I was holding back was already making its way to my eyelids. he started telling me that he just ran into her and thought why not? and that he didn't even get my chat. Well, I was already tired, drained even. I just told him later and made my way to my hostel to lick my wounds in peace. Thank you for reading, please feel free to drop a comment. Have a wonderful week. LOVE, OMO AYAN.

MY TEMPLE RUN

I should have known it was too good to be true when I met this very fine boy on the first day of the week. Tunde is an amazing person, we met on my way back from church on Sunday and we hit it off while I was looking for a keke, another perk of a Sunday was that I was actually looking good If I do say so myself. Monday came and it felt as though we were already best friends

 but of course everyone would put their best foot forward and that was what I did and by the time I realized I was the only one putting my best foot forward let’s just say it was a little awkward.

I was jejely on my way to collect my long overdue change with Iya Michael, in fact I was ready for fight but I said I was going to call at my friend’s place before going there. Unfortunately I was barely dressed since I thought I would be done with my business before 4pm, visiting time so off I went.

When I got to my friend’s room I was pleasantly surprised because I met her. Trust me if you know this friend of mine, you’ll know it’s a miracle ever meeting her in her room in fact I just went there to mark attendance. Na so I just sat down and got down to gist, 

we gisted and I even ate jollof rice and beans with cold pure water. At last, I was ready to go so I was hurriedly trying to switch into my "agbero" mode on the way to Iya Michael’s.

By the time I got there one voice was telling me to come back another day but I didn’t heed moreover I was already getting into character so I kept on until when I unconsciously looked back and saw some boys approaching, that one no concern me so I still kept going until I realized that "wait a minute I'm not properly dressed" and that was when temple run started.

Iya Michael’s prayer has worked o, I didn’t even bother to ask her for wrapper cause I know she won’t give me, I’m sure that woman has some witchy qualities if that’s even a thing. I started running just for a safe space. I’m sure you’re wondering why I didn’t just go back to my friend’s room, well, she walked me to Iya Michael's on her way out so I know for a fact that it was a dead end.

Some students just have no decorum, I mean, how can you spread your undies on the hallway where it can easily tangle somebody’s head (and by implication destiny) and knowing what they are capable of, if that underwear should touch anyone’s head, the victim should just admit himself to God’s church for intensive deliverance.

It was in that chaos of avoiding female undergarments that I raced through the hallway in a bid to race to my room unscathed. It was all in vain cause just as I was about to escape the hallway and seek refuge in my block, yes at that very moment my long forgotten phone rang in my pocket 

I struggled to pick it and it was indeed James. Well I paused the temple run, stopped in my tracks and tried to even my breaths.  Eventually I picked it, I was like ‘hello James’ when he said ‘I just knew it was you in the yellow singlet (well, it was a tank top but the boy didn’t know any better) and jeans (well, jeans is a very decent way of qualifying the material on my lower body)

 so I gave a nervous smile cause lo and behold, when I looked back he was watching me run through the perforated blocks. 

Now that I think about it, I would have looked more decent without running, but now? I must have looked really stupid and crazy I mean I probably look like a crazy sexy girl, sexy I’ll take but crazy, not so much.

Oh and did I mention he was in the company of his friends?

 I don’t think I’ll be going out again, between me and Iya Michael, God will judge.

Thank you so much for reading.
❤
OMO AYAN

O O SADE, OYA NOW...

Sade is one of the popular Yoruba names and let me tell you in my personal experience that Sades are usually very vocal people not that it’s a bad thing, they just don’t know how to be silent especially at crucial times, so it’s no surprise that my Aunty Sade is exactly like that. Many have tagged her troublesome but thank God she didn’t marry into the family, if not, they would have killed her vibe but they can’t do that since she is as bonafide as any of them. Anytime my family meets for party like this, there must be drama. I have time to write this now because Big Daddy’s 90th birthday party has just been scattered and Aunty Sade is right in the middle of it.
I’ll tell you how it happened but first let me give you a brief description of their branch of our family tree. My family is that type of family that sometimes I don’t know who is related to who but I just know we’re related. Since this story is pretty streamlined, the fight was between Mama Esther and Aunty Sade. Mama Esther is the wife to Big Daddy’s youngest nephew and Aunty Sade, his last child and only daughter. What happened was that Aunty Sade went to Akure for a function and decided to call at Uncle Peter, Mama Esther’s husband’s place. Unfortunately Mama Esther was around and while they share a mutual dislike for each other, they always greet each other well. Typically, women have that high pitch voice they use when they dislike but have to tolerate each other, that’s when compliments sounding like insults will fly and they will try to prove whose life is better just from compliments. This is usually what happens when Mama Esther and Aunty Sade meet, but everyone just leaves them alone just cause we don’t want trouble, but that trouble was what Mama Esther looked for when she disgraced Aunty Sade at her house but because Uncle Peter pleaded with Aunty Sade she left, I’m sure Mama Esther thought all was well, little did she know revenge is best served cold.
I’m sure when Aunty Sade woke up this morning to start dressing up for the party she had no plan to revenge however the one who’ll eat poison will offend the one who’ll give it to him and that’s exactly what happened. Jejely Aunty Sade was serving people food when Mama Esther that was supposed to be serving alongside her sat comfortably and requested for food too, it was extremely rude but Aunty Sade still did not talk. Mama Esther now had the guts to find Aunty Sade and ask her why she was not served yet while raining all sorts of personal insults on her, that was the straw that broke the camel’s back and they literally had to pull Aunty Sade from Mama Esther but before they did, Aunty Sade had done a number on Mama Esther and the whole party had scattered cause once Aunty Sade starts, let’s just say party has ended.
Thank God most of the elders were already around for the party they kuku turned it to family meeting where they had to settle the matter. Although they eventually told Aunty Sade to apologise to Mama Esther even though she was not wrong, but in this culture of ours, the elders are never wrong.


Thank you so much for reading this update. Don’t forget to comment and share.
❤
OMO AYAN

FIVE TYPES OF NIGERIAN CONCERN

Nigeria is a peculiar country such that we don’t feel or show concern in the conventional way, this is a list pf the typical ways we do show concern:
AMEBO
Very popular yet underrated. These people can legit do some real damage in one’s life when they get concerned. The sad but true fact is that they know your problems sometimes even before you do, they also sometimes complicate it without knowing and very rarely help solve it. They usually have tiny legs that can carry them anywhere and everywhere and also come in categories; the ones who try too hard, the ones to whom gists come naturally and the Brandons who just happen to know everything about everyone. Usually amebos don’t fake concern, because come to think about it, you’re just another gist. How do you deal with them? Honestly I don’t know but remember, if you encourage them to tell you about other people, you’ll have to drop something for them to say about you, but what do I know?

MENTOS
These group seem like a tough nut to crack until you get to know them a little better just like Mentos. They seem not to care about anything and are usually the hard ones, however they give the best advice because they are honest and will rip it off like a band aid, don’t go to them if you’re not ready for the truth. They are the realest and their concern for you is real.

CHEERLEADERS
These people seem harmless but are actually dangerous like a ticking time bomb. The reason we ask for advice is because we can’t help ourselves and need an objective view but mostly because we need someone to talk to and make us feel like we’re not the only ones while feeling special at the same time. The cheerleaders will not give any advice but will support any decision you make. This is good only when you’re making the right choice which we don’t always make and that’s what makes them dangerous, because they will support even our mistakes and usually just like any other group on this list, you won’t know until you have problems and approach them, and the results will tell you which group you just approached.

FAKE CONCERN
These ones don’t care about you one bit and will be happy to be rid of you. They are usually the ones who carry your matter on their heads and eventually end up giving you a selfish advice. How do you know? Usually, the advice will seem simple, palatable and in line with your reasoning. The next thing you know, life haff spoil and the gist is everywhere while they conveniently remove themselves from your situation.

TRAFFIC WARDENS
We all know who traffic wardens are, one thing tho is that while they look and direct cars, what happens in those cars are usually none of their business and they keep it that way. In short, these group of people do not even know you have problems, they face their business and that alone so if you need them, you have to call them into your matter else, they can’t see you o.




Thank you so much for reading this update, we look forward to seeing you this Friday for the family saga. Today happens to be my parents’ wedding anniversary so gotta go.



LOVE
❤
OMO AYAN

UNDER MY UMBRELLA ELLA…EH

Just like food, fashion also comes in seasons especially certain articles peculiar to certain weather conditions. All over the world, clothes or articles out of season tend to be cheaper and that tickles the mind of the skillful spender to buy such articles when out of season as they are noticeably cheaper. “All over the world” yet not in Nigeria. Each year I will myself to get an umbrella during dry season and this year I surprised myself and actually got around to getting myself one. Well, I tried, that is, until I got to the store and I saw an exceedingly plain umbrella, I mean the kind of umbrella you forget in the bus, just plain ol’ Mary Jane umbrella that can’t fit into your bag or anywhere sensible and yet not creatively appealing, of moderate size when open and all but since I wanted an umbrella and that was what they had, I was like “why not?” so I checked the tag and guess what, it was one thousand five hundred naira, let me put it in figures, 1500

for the umbrella. My very first thought was “am I the God who’s raining the rain? I was bewildered. Eventually I just resorted to “whoever doesn’t get beaten by either rain or sunshine will be beaten by poverty” and I walked out. Let’s just say up till today, as in June, first of its name, the month of rain and beginning of the nine-month goodness, I still don’t have an umbrella.

This brings me to a list of types of people during a rainfall




A. UMBRELLA!!
These ones either by skill, God given talent or sheer dedication always find themselves with umbrella whenever it rains. These are upright people, I guess so I doubt they would have stolen it, moreover if some people did not bring umbrella, there would be nothing to steal, so they are no figment of imagination, they are real and they dwell amongst us, humans. These people are usually female and they are the ones with extra pad, shower cap, umbrella, etc. not that it is wrong but sometimes allow yourself to forget something, bad behaviour right? Well, for some of us its normal everyday behavior. Funny part, they never forget it where they sit, very articulate people I tell you. Sometimes they also tend to be the over sabi in class and when they’re going, they’ll still on umbrella on bike or fight cab driver for not allowing them enter and fold their umbrellas well before moving.

UMBRELLA?
These set, bottom line do not have umbrellas handy whenever it rains. Some get really frantic and beat themselves up for it, some others just don’t care because they know they don’t even own one, moreover umbrella is the smallest of their problems while some others form as though they brought the umbrella and it miraculously vanished at the nick of time just when they needed it most and then there are people like me, we count it as fate after all, ‘God has willed it’.

 These type are the ones we’re talking about today. They are:


THE ATTACHÉ
These ones don’t understand either the physics, chemistry, math or simple logic in that this umbrella was made for one person, they still find a way of saying, ‘if you move like this, it will contain us’. Very selfish people who diligently ensure that both the owner and borrower i.e. them, gets soaked, the owner more than the borrower.

THOR
These people are downright aggressive and are part of the ‘it’s not far gang’, they don’t run from rain in fact they’ll tell you ‘when I’m not salt’. They’ll brave it and walk briskly in the rain. They also usually wear all those shoes like the one Abraham travelled with. When it eventually gets tough, they are the ones you find under filling station or corn seller’s umbrella.

OH GOD!
These people always have a reason to complain. They are the ones who have clothes they have spread or they want to spread, they have work the next day as if the rest of us will sleep at home, they have one thing or the other the rain has deprived them of as if it’s convenient for the remaining of us and the keep buzzing like bees boring everyone around them including the thors seeking refuge with them under the same filling station.

LAZY AND UNEMPLOYED
We all know unemployment plagues Nigeria but the hardworking ones still hustle. These people don’t hustle, they just sleep and await manna. They are the ones that will post, ‘weather for two’ with one yeye 18+ picture like that on Facebook free mode. Eventually, they are the ones that impregnate on first try, well, what can we say? Wehdone Sir

AWON T’ABACHA
Whether legitimately or fraudulently, these ones don’t know when its raining or more specifically they don’t feel it. I mean from chauffeured well air-conditioned car to remote controlled gate, paneled floors and a host of staff both at home and at work, they are the ‘when you’re made, you’re made’.

This is a list for those of us without cars, there will be another list for the types of drivers in the rain.

Thank you so much for reading and constantly following this blog. We love you and God loves you more.
Love,
❤
OMO AYAN.

HOW TO BE AN ARMED ROBBER

There are some basic tips to being a successful professional armed robber. Where most armed robbers get it wrong is starting from the typical beginning e.g. getting a gang together, how to source for arms and ammunition, getting informants and information, etc. when in reality you should start by going to court. The court is an open place and as such you can sit through proceedings and understand where their predecessors for it wrong, the loopholes in the law and the inevitable end of all things. If their minds are not changed only then can they truly rob. This seems unreasonable right? It could even help to source for arms, unreasonable but tested and trusted.

Now unto how to get ‘customers’, a poor thief will only attract poor victims, think big but not unrealistically so. Have the perfect cover, be a friendly neighbor, a responsibly looking person, be very intelligent such that you need not always physically rob and keep your identity hidden always. Remember this however, all things come to an end, always think of the end.

Finally, come to think of it, why are you reading this? Should I be concerned? Do I need to call law enforcement? ‘Tested and trusted’ by whom? Wait a minute, what is going on in your head? And more specifically what’s going on in mine? Na joke o! I’m not encouraging armed robbery at all so do not take this seriously, I repeat, na joke o😂




Thanks for sticking by me and always reading my updates. I appreciate you all.



Love,
OMO AYAN
💋

5 REACTIONS TO FRESH CORN

1. THE FAMZER
These ones don’t know what to do or how to react to a sweet cob of corn gazing at them or more specifically the ones they are staring at,

 so they become fidgety as a function of their indecision. Most of them eventually succumb to their innate desires and the start famzing you just to get corn, what will human beings not do for corn?

2.  OWL GANG
These set of people don’t approach you to say anything but they are not discreet when looking at you, who am I kidding? They stare until you get uncomfortable. I want to believe it’s a universal rule that you don’t stare at strangers and if at all you do and get caught, you avert your gaze post haste, as in immediately!! But these people seem to ignore this rule and in fact disregard it as though it doesn’t exist.

 So for people like them, I either keep eating my corn jejely or when it gets really uncomfortable, put it in my bag. However any day I feel like causing trouble I give it to someone else and believe me when I say the look of hatred on their faces is to die for, very hilarious.

3. THE INQUIRER
They are the educated ones who use style and finesse to beg for corn, they are usually like, ‘sorry, where did you get that?’, ‘it smells so nice, it looks delicious, how much did you get it?’, ‘I would really like to get corn but I don’t have change’, ‘ is it from that woman over there you purchased it from?’, etc

and such other questions as may arise, especially with English words that no one uses in this age and time. These annoying questions just make you want to cut small for them in exchange for your peace of mind. The most annoying part is when you know that’s what they want and they’re still playing hard to get on top your own corn. You're almost tempted to give them money, like 'take and go and buy your own'.

4. THE N0-NONSENSE
These ones cannot come and go and kill themselves so they walk up to you and say what’s on their mind. These are the realest and are the ones you eventually become great friends however just like every good thing, they are rare to find. I mean imagine giving a speech at their wedding and you start with, ‘we met on a sunny afternoon when she approached me to cut corn for her’. Don’t get me wrong, they can be equally annoying especially when they catch you at a bad time or they just happen to be naturally annoying people then you start with ‘ some people naturally just don’t  have manners’  but usually they are the goats literally and figuratively.

5. THE CUT-FOR-ME GANG
Finally, whether these ones are friends or not, cutting corn for someone is not an easy task, it’s a real test of friendship especially when it is fresh and delicious but what can we do? Don’t be misled; some Muslims will not fast on different days for different reasons so never think your corn is safe, you just may be shocked.

Always carry your corn on your person I repeat, NEVER EVER LEAVE YOUR CORN LONELY.

 However, Since some people are gluttons, I have to give some tips, NEVER EVER TELL THEM TO CUT FOR THEMSELVES,

stay and cut for them unless you are done with the corn and in a situation where the corn cuts unevenly, don’t be shy, take the head part unless it’s the small part, always aim for the head and not the tip

 (I hope you know what I’m talking about ‘cause I didn’t do biology). I wish you a corn filled season and may the odds always be in our favour.



I've been postponing this update for quite some time. It's finally here. Sorry for the inconsistent updates, life is unpredictable. Thank you so much for the reads and for always sharing.

Love,
OMO AYAN
❤

WE WILL NOT FORGET

With this kain heat in Nigeria, may God help us. It was on a Wednesday that this happened. Prior to the day my sister had been complaining of stomach unrest I’m guessing as a result of the heat, I thought it was peculiar to her and I had escaped until it happened to me. The whole day went by in a blur because I was simply sleep deprived, and as a result tired but most of all, I was hungry. The hunger was not from here but I was managing sha and my oga didn’t seem to notice as we went from pillar to post eventually when I saw a place where they sold potatoes I quickly bought some with plantain then continued our journey. Finally we touched down at our base and I decided to get something to eat. As soon as I got to Iya Muftau and started ‘placing my order’ I just felt that sensation run through my body and a sudden lightheadedness and no it was not serious it was just my body telling me, ‘kai shit has come’ then I broke out in cold sweat on a hot afternoon and suddenly the long sleeve seemed too much for me to handle. I didn’t even know what I had ordered when I asked the woman, ‘please ma, Is there anywhere I can use the toilet around here?’ immediately she understood and ordered her daughter to take me to their own personally toilet. It was not much but at that point I would have gladly done my business in public. By the time I was done, I was greatly relieved then I went to collect my food. It was then she told me that she realized it was an emergency the moment I opened my mouth to tell her and truly for a lady all dressed up to ask for a toilet in public fire must be burning in her underpants, I thanked her and till today I pray for her from the bottom of my heart. She was a blessing to me.

Any little act of kindness, please render, she had no idea how enormous what she did for me was, and I’m grateful. I’m also grateful to my roommate who volunteered to facilitate my fine payment and to all my roommates, RHODA, NURSE FOLARIN, YEM YEM and FAVOUR, thank you for making my stay amazing, our time together as roommates has ended but I look forward to many more years as friends. 

The way we will always remember good deeds is the way we will also remember bad deeds, I tried checking out on Thursday and what o went through could only be described as torturous, one would think I was trying to break out of prison or worse a quarantine zone, after I was done I had to sit in the sun for like an hour waiting for the person who volunteered to pick me up just because according to them I could no longer be anywhere near the hall so I could not even find shade at the porters’ lodge, to them also I say a different kind of prayer.

All I know is we will not forget.

And to all the loyal readers, I'm once again sorry for the late update, thank you so much for reading.

💕

OMO AYAN

COMMUNION SERVICE: THE FINALE

So I sat down quietly after closing the door like four times. The first time I didn’t want to be rough, the second I tried harder, the third I was getting the hang of it and on the last one I let the anger of the day seep through, it was like the door had mood sensor because the door closed immediately it sensed the anger, that sort of car might be the reason for that anger one day. The guy kick started the car with the help of some members who pushed it a little, okay maybe a long time but it wasn’t too long why? Because I was sitting in the car. After some ‘tutu’ sounds, jerky motions and smoke a lot of it, we were on our way and the guy started small talk which I’ve found not to be a strong suit for me at all but I tried getting along maybe a part of me was scared he’ll tell me to come down literally in the middle of nowhere and after we crossed the bridge, I couldn’t have been happier, I think I can even relate to the Israelites crossing of the red sea or nelson Mandela’s first taste of freedom, you think I’m exaggerating? Pray that you’re never in this situation, I wanted to shout yippee but I knew the battle was not over since the guy had started talking about school like he could relate. Even if you can, just carry me to safety don’t form like you did law courses or philosophy, we have nothing in common, but I couldn’t do that, so new plan was activated.
I called my roommate and talked as normally as possible, it does two things:
It would hinder further discussion
It would give them an inkling as to where I currently was and who was taking me
So I left clues like ‘I’m on my way to the hostel and brother Kunle (brother forbids the romantic thought even if only for a while) had volunteered to bring me and that I was almost at the junction, contingency plan for God forbid any bad thing.
Eventually we got to the junction and brother wanted phone number so I gave him the number , at least the one that’s lost that I give everyone that I don’t like their faces or a continuing relationship with especially since I couldn’t lie about my name this time. In fairness to him he volunteered to take me further but I told him ‘not to worried’ and I hurriedly got out before he’ll try the number and jejely took bike to my school. As soon as I got to school, I just bought food since I was too tired to do anything much less cook, it was mental, physical and everything fatigue.
I’m naturally a gist loving person but even I couldn’t gist in that state so I promised them I would later and slept off after eating. By the time I woke up, I had missed the evening service of my normal very normal church and I felt very guilty especially with my new experience but I promised I would go the next week. I gave my roommates gist while skipping some parts you know it’s not everything I would want to say. Speak of the devil and she shall appear, she came back around 7:30 in the evening and I just thought, Is this when I would be coming back if I had waited? Do they not know that tomorrow is Monday the start of a new week? So I called her out of the room to reduce the embarrassment and first told her to thank Brah Kunle on my behalf before very politely telling her never to come for me again. we still greet now but that’s about it and I’ve been going to church since then and one day I thought I saw Brah Kunle’s car I ducked ni, I just turned my back and faced the only person I saw, the woman selling plantain, let’s just say I eventually bought plantain. Never again!!

I want to thank God for the amazing family and friends he has put beside me. My birthday was amazing, I had fun and I got gifts clothes, perfumes even the cake. It was amazing. As much as I love and appreciate these gifts, my Friday goes to Ene Adejo because today, yeah today she took me out and yes I had fun, it's not everyday you get a treatment like that and it's not every friend that will support and understand me this much. I love you. Thank you so much baby, it means a lot.

And to the ever consistent readers,

Thank you

Love,

Omo Ayan.

💖

COMMUNION SERVICE PT 3

Before offering was preaching on how to give i.e. ‘sow seeds’ so they did, me I kuku dropped 200 naira that’s what I have, may God bless my widow’s mite. The preaching was another hour and half with all sorts of ‘yes lord’, ‘glory’, ‘yes pastor’ and mini workout sessions of standing, sitting, joining in the song raised by pastor, etc. then there was thanksgiving, if I had known I would have dropped 100 naira for offering but who am I? I dropped another 50 naira while managing not to fall into the pot holes on the way to the offering table, the humpty dumpty movement that seemed like enough dance and they were oddly satisfied that I was blending in, emi chameleon fun ra mi.
It was like they divided all the church programs amongst the ‘vibrant’ members and we were just going round and the pastor a, so seemed to have trust issues since he would come up after everybody to say one or two things. Eventually, when I thought service had finished I realised the relief was to be short lived because apparently, the Sunday I decided to go was holy communion service that they had carefully placed in the evening that just happened to be two hours plus away so members stayed behind so they wouldn’t have to go and come back. What kind of nonsense is this bayii? So what have we been waiting for in church since morning? Is this how service goes for them every Sunday?
Since the place was practically a jungle with only one shuttle in and out, I had no choice but to be patient after all patience is key. But only a couple of hours in and several conversations after I discovered ‘no, I just can’t do this?’ so I started praying, you know all those ‘God if you can get me out of this hale and hearty, I would praise you, in fact ill never try something like this again and I’ll go to my church next week Sunday’. I checked my phone and saw a couple of missed calls mainly from my roommates I’m sure they were probably wondering where I disappeared to. At least thank God they can hold her responsible if anything although it’s not I want anything to happen since I’m the subject in this case. I also missed my mum’s calls, the poor woman was probably worried and I know that receiving her phone call with all the noise will birth questions that I don’t think I’ll be ready to answer in a long while to come so I sent her a text telling her I would call back. They tried o, at least they gave me doughnut even though I couldn’t eat it and I stylishly kept it in my bag for a later disposal, I mean who knows if that’s how they caught all these ones, one can’t be too careful these days.
While doing all these PA work, someone among them received a call that sounded really urgent and had to go into town ( I say town because where I was even though in the heart of Ibadan seemed anything but a town and centre of civilisation) for a while although he promised to be back in time for holy communion service. God forgive my lying I quickly made something up about a roommate and health centre which got a lot of ‘may God heal her o’, ‘extend our greetings to her’ and all of that, so the man offered me a ride and ushered me to the car, isn’t our God a good God? When I got to the car, I was amazed and at the same time I did not feel a thing.
Do you know all those cars that you’re confused as to their original make since the front has Gallant, lights are Mitsubishi and the dashboard is reading Mazda then the mirrors are wearing Honda, it’s like coat of many colours but cars of many makers, I’m thinking it was a joint collaboration effort on the car, most likely the first and last. I don’t even know if gallant still exists or if they’ll remember they ever made a car as this and apparently the reason for the discontinued joint collaborative effort is because it did not work out as the car looked rough and felt even more so, but beggars are not choosers are they? Any chance to escape the trap I’ll take it even canoe!!

That's how the amazing God that I serve made a way for me.




Sorry for the late updates. I had a lot going on, exams, my birthday yes you heard right. Thank God it's all settled now.



Thank you so much for your understanding.
Love,
Omo Ayan
💖