MY TEMPLE RUN

I should have known it was too good to be true when I met this very fine boy on the first day of the week. Tunde is an amazing person, we met on my way back from church on Sunday and we hit it off while I was looking for a keke, another perk of a Sunday was that I was actually looking good If I do say so myself. Monday came and it felt as though we were already best friends

 but of course everyone would put their best foot forward and that was what I did and by the time I realized I was the only one putting my best foot forward let’s just say it was a little awkward.

I was jejely on my way to collect my long overdue change with Iya Michael, in fact I was ready for fight but I said I was going to call at my friend’s place before going there. Unfortunately I was barely dressed since I thought I would be done with my business before 4pm, visiting time so off I went.

When I got to my friend’s room I was pleasantly surprised because I met her. Trust me if you know this friend of mine, you’ll know it’s a miracle ever meeting her in her room in fact I just went there to mark attendance. Na so I just sat down and got down to gist, 

we gisted and I even ate jollof rice and beans with cold pure water. At last, I was ready to go so I was hurriedly trying to switch into my "agbero" mode on the way to Iya Michael’s.

By the time I got there one voice was telling me to come back another day but I didn’t heed moreover I was already getting into character so I kept on until when I unconsciously looked back and saw some boys approaching, that one no concern me so I still kept going until I realized that "wait a minute I'm not properly dressed" and that was when temple run started.

Iya Michael’s prayer has worked o, I didn’t even bother to ask her for wrapper cause I know she won’t give me, I’m sure that woman has some witchy qualities if that’s even a thing. I started running just for a safe space. I’m sure you’re wondering why I didn’t just go back to my friend’s room, well, she walked me to Iya Michael's on her way out so I know for a fact that it was a dead end.

Some students just have no decorum, I mean, how can you spread your undies on the hallway where it can easily tangle somebody’s head (and by implication destiny) and knowing what they are capable of, if that underwear should touch anyone’s head, the victim should just admit himself to God’s church for intensive deliverance.

It was in that chaos of avoiding female undergarments that I raced through the hallway in a bid to race to my room unscathed. It was all in vain cause just as I was about to escape the hallway and seek refuge in my block, yes at that very moment my long forgotten phone rang in my pocket 

I struggled to pick it and it was indeed James. Well I paused the temple run, stopped in my tracks and tried to even my breaths.  Eventually I picked it, I was like ‘hello James’ when he said ‘I just knew it was you in the yellow singlet (well, it was a tank top but the boy didn’t know any better) and jeans (well, jeans is a very decent way of qualifying the material on my lower body)

 so I gave a nervous smile cause lo and behold, when I looked back he was watching me run through the perforated blocks. 

Now that I think about it, I would have looked more decent without running, but now? I must have looked really stupid and crazy I mean I probably look like a crazy sexy girl, sexy I’ll take but crazy, not so much.

Oh and did I mention he was in the company of his friends?

 I don’t think I’ll be going out again, between me and Iya Michael, God will judge.

Thank you so much for reading.
❤
OMO AYAN

O O SADE, OYA NOW...

Sade is one of the popular Yoruba names and let me tell you in my personal experience that Sades are usually very vocal people not that it’s a bad thing, they just don’t know how to be silent especially at crucial times, so it’s no surprise that my Aunty Sade is exactly like that. Many have tagged her troublesome but thank God she didn’t marry into the family, if not, they would have killed her vibe but they can’t do that since she is as bonafide as any of them. Anytime my family meets for party like this, there must be drama. I have time to write this now because Big Daddy’s 90th birthday party has just been scattered and Aunty Sade is right in the middle of it.
I’ll tell you how it happened but first let me give you a brief description of their branch of our family tree. My family is that type of family that sometimes I don’t know who is related to who but I just know we’re related. Since this story is pretty streamlined, the fight was between Mama Esther and Aunty Sade. Mama Esther is the wife to Big Daddy’s youngest nephew and Aunty Sade, his last child and only daughter. What happened was that Aunty Sade went to Akure for a function and decided to call at Uncle Peter, Mama Esther’s husband’s place. Unfortunately Mama Esther was around and while they share a mutual dislike for each other, they always greet each other well. Typically, women have that high pitch voice they use when they dislike but have to tolerate each other, that’s when compliments sounding like insults will fly and they will try to prove whose life is better just from compliments. This is usually what happens when Mama Esther and Aunty Sade meet, but everyone just leaves them alone just cause we don’t want trouble, but that trouble was what Mama Esther looked for when she disgraced Aunty Sade at her house but because Uncle Peter pleaded with Aunty Sade she left, I’m sure Mama Esther thought all was well, little did she know revenge is best served cold.
I’m sure when Aunty Sade woke up this morning to start dressing up for the party she had no plan to revenge however the one who’ll eat poison will offend the one who’ll give it to him and that’s exactly what happened. Jejely Aunty Sade was serving people food when Mama Esther that was supposed to be serving alongside her sat comfortably and requested for food too, it was extremely rude but Aunty Sade still did not talk. Mama Esther now had the guts to find Aunty Sade and ask her why she was not served yet while raining all sorts of personal insults on her, that was the straw that broke the camel’s back and they literally had to pull Aunty Sade from Mama Esther but before they did, Aunty Sade had done a number on Mama Esther and the whole party had scattered cause once Aunty Sade starts, let’s just say party has ended.
Thank God most of the elders were already around for the party they kuku turned it to family meeting where they had to settle the matter. Although they eventually told Aunty Sade to apologise to Mama Esther even though she was not wrong, but in this culture of ours, the elders are never wrong.


Thank you so much for reading this update. Don’t forget to comment and share.
❤
OMO AYAN