For the love of all things sagacious

       FAMILY SAGA
      The chair feels hot on everyone’s butt and I’m sure no one is paying attention to whatever the pastor is saying. Aunty T, the action mama is already boiling on her seat while Uncle K is trying to calm his wife, a scene is bound to happen here today and the worst part, even the audience usually gets their fair share as it doesn’t take long for the story to flip and change and land on you. Can we ever have a family function and they won’t fight? But that’s what family is like, right? It all started at B’s wedding December of last year. IB happens to be Iya IB’s first daughter who got married to OG and it came with a drama of its own, the spin off of which we’ll see today. Before IB’s wedding, the traditional rites were performed by a member of the bride’s family which wasn’t supposed to be and so stepped on people’s toes. Iya IB is known to be a manipulative witch in the family if I do say so myself maybe that’s why nobody likes her yet only a few people show it, one of which is me in my little corner and Aunty T. Aunty T is my father’s mother’s brother’s brother’s grandfather’s granddaughter, crazy right? Crazy but true. Sometimes even I forget how we’re related, abeggi, molebi ni gbogbo wa (we are all one big family).
     One thing this family is good at is keeping up appearances, if you were not part of a group even within the family, you just might have no clue as to what’s going on. According to what I’ve been privileged to hear from both sides, during the wedding, Aunty T overheard Iya IB call Uncle I’s wife who just happens to be way older than her by her first name which in my culture is a no no, especially if her husband is older than yours, which he is, it was plain disrespect. Aunty T upon hearing this expected Mama O, another family member who is also older and is supposed to talk sense into Iya IB, to scold her on the spot for just attitude. Mama O behaved like she didn’t hear which was not possible because of their proximity. Aunty T upon hearing this decided to come to Uncle I’s wife aid by scolding Iya IB only for Mama O to scold her instead for disrespecting an elder especially at her daughter’s wedding. At this, Aunty T flared up and turned to attack Mama O for being hypocritical by turning a blind eye to such disrespect only for her to magnify hers which would never have come if the first didn’t happen.
      Mama O reports Aunty T to Baba Agba who in line with the tradition of first chasing away the eagle blamed Aunty T and asked her to apologise which she blatantly refused to do maintaining her position. We thought that died down until we heard Iya IB deny ever calling Uncle I’s wife by name, the bone of contention. At this Mama O flares up and unconsciously admits to hearing her utter such word which Aunty T holds on to in her bid to get justice. Uncle K’s wife on the other hand paid for aso ebi for IB’s wedding which she got late and of inferior quality, upon complaints Iya IB called her a ‘stingy, idle mind’ that knows nothing of how hard it is to plan a wedding which infuriated her and had to get her husband to pacify her. In all these, the men are just cool and trying to cool down their wives.
   Today is Baba Agba’s birthday thanksgiving and while that has died down or at least we thought, Mama O stands up to get some food which normally shouldn’t be especially since IB was present, but just for peace to reign, she does and IB still has to audacity ti ask her to bring two plates and drinks also for her and her husband.  This was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Aunty T just flipped and while they were trying to settle that one, her mother tried pacifying them both which caused Uncle K’s wife who has kept her grievance hidden to also flip and then they had to separate seats with each husband pacifying his wife. As a young person there, I wished to be invisible because next thing you know they’ll pounce on the next person who says a word. After thanksgiving now, everybody will scatter and await the next drama. This one lasted 8 months, next one and we might not be so lucky. Families 😯

Sorry for the late updates, it's been a long week and it's just Wednesday, that's saying something 😊
So I started my book today and decided to update as well. It's a journey and I'm excited.

Till next time,
Your very own
OMO AYAN
❤